Been to the dentist lately? I have. Went last week. Went today. Going tomorrow. Had to have a tooth pulled last week. Bottom, right-hand side, all the way in the back. Bad one that. Been troubling me ever since they pulled out my wisdom teeth...31 years ago. Cracked the tooth in front. I kept telling dentists it was hurting. They kept saying there was nothing wrong with it. Then it fell apart. Kind of hard to argue with that. Finally, it got to where I could take it any more, so I let the dentist. Take the tooth, that is. Fun time too. I especially love the cracking nosies as they pry the roots out of your jaw. Nothing like that one. Happily, as soon as the procedure was done, so was the pain. Which is good, cuz I really hate that deep-in-the-bone pain you get sometimes when you've had deep dental work done. The kind of pain that feels like your jaw is splitting apart. The kind of pain that you need serious drugs to combat. In fact, the only pain at all has been in the gum at the opening. Can't really get away from that.
Today was easy enough. Just a checkup. First the x-rays. Lots of those. My head probably glows in the dark now. And I hate the way those little squares dig into your gums. Ouch. "When did you last have your teeth cleaned?" they ask. "Don't remember," I reply. That gets me stern looks. Then a cleaning. scratching and scraping at my teeth with their little picks and chisels. Chunks of what I'm sure must be my teeth flying around in my mouth. They poke my gums until they bled. Then comes the polishing with that horrid paste they use. Tastes like old socks smell. They try to make it better by flavoring it with ersatz cherry, but that only makes it worse. Rinse and spit. Then the floss. Ever notice that the floss that dentists use is like twice as thick as any you can buy over the counter? That stuff barely gets between my teeth, and I'm always afraid it'll pull the teeth with it when they yank it back out again. The end result? I take pretty good care of my teeth. Only one cavity.
So tomorrow, a filling. I hate fillings. No, that's not true. Filling's don't bother me so much. It's the shot that I hate. This tooth is right up front, so this shot's really gonna hurt, cuz the up front ones are the worst. I'm not looking forward to it. They give you that topical anesthetic that doesn't numb you at all, then they take the largest hypodermic I have ever seen and shove the needle into your eye socket by way of the roof of your mouth. Then you get rubber lips. Next comes the drill. Oh the sweet pleasure of that high-pitched whine, the vibration of the drill bit grinding away chunks of tooth, the smell of hot enamel - these are the things that make life special. Once the drilling is done, so's all the fun. Then it's just rather tedious as the mix the filling and shove it in. I even fall asleep then. No, it's true. The dentist has to keep waking me up and telling me to keep my mouth open. After they're done, you still have rubber lips for the next hour-and-a-half and you walk around drooling all over yourself.
Next up on the dental hit list? A bridge! Stay tuned.
Today was easy enough. Just a checkup. First the x-rays. Lots of those. My head probably glows in the dark now. And I hate the way those little squares dig into your gums. Ouch. "When did you last have your teeth cleaned?" they ask. "Don't remember," I reply. That gets me stern looks. Then a cleaning. scratching and scraping at my teeth with their little picks and chisels. Chunks of what I'm sure must be my teeth flying around in my mouth. They poke my gums until they bled. Then comes the polishing with that horrid paste they use. Tastes like old socks smell. They try to make it better by flavoring it with ersatz cherry, but that only makes it worse. Rinse and spit. Then the floss. Ever notice that the floss that dentists use is like twice as thick as any you can buy over the counter? That stuff barely gets between my teeth, and I'm always afraid it'll pull the teeth with it when they yank it back out again. The end result? I take pretty good care of my teeth. Only one cavity.So tomorrow, a filling. I hate fillings. No, that's not true. Filling's don't bother me so much. It's the shot that I hate. This tooth is right up front, so this shot's really gonna hurt, cuz the up front ones are the worst. I'm not looking forward to it. They give you that topical anesthetic that doesn't numb you at all, then they take the largest hypodermic I have ever seen and shove the needle into your eye socket by way of the roof of your mouth. Then you get rubber lips. Next comes the drill. Oh the sweet pleasure of that high-pitched whine, the vibration of the drill bit grinding away chunks of tooth, the smell of hot enamel - these are the things that make life special. Once the drilling is done, so's all the fun. Then it's just rather tedious as the mix the filling and shove it in. I even fall asleep then. No, it's true. The dentist has to keep waking me up and telling me to keep my mouth open. After they're done, you still have rubber lips for the next hour-and-a-half and you walk around drooling all over yourself.
Next up on the dental hit list? A bridge! Stay tuned.
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