Just Remember the Red River Valley...

I never thought I'd catch myself saying this but...I miss North Dakota. When I was there, I hated it. I lived in a small town situated exactly halfway between Fargo and Bismark on Interstate 84. You pass through Fargo, and you drive for 94 miles through farmland that's so open and treeless that you can see for twenty miles. They used to say that if your dog ran away, you could still see him two weeks later. What's in this little town that I spent a little more than five years in? A prison, a mental hospital, a school for disabled children, a small college and - surprisingly enough - an aerospace manufacturer. Oh, and about 17,000 people, mainly of Norwegian and German descent. And that's about it. Not many places to shop. Got the obligatory WalMart by the interstate. A handful of mediocre restaurants. Two decaying movie theaters. If you want to do any serious shopping, you go to Fargo or Bismark. If you really wanna night out, you drive down to "the cities" - St. Paul-Minneapolis. There's a small reservoir in Jamestown. And lots and lots of open space. Room to breathe. They have a billboard on the interstate that shows a two-lane road that runs straight through green fields toward the horizon. There are no cars on the road, no houses in sight. The caption reads, "Rush Hour in North Dakota." And so it is. We used to joke that we had "rush minute." Jamestown, North Dakota is - in short - where elephants go to die.

In so many ways, Massachusetts is better. There's more to do, more to see. There are more places to shop just minutes from where we live, and gobs of great places to eat. The schools are incredible, with counsellors and special ed teachers and all of that. You have your choice of doctors, dentists, even hospitals. It's hilly here, and I like hills. There are trees here, and I like trees. And those trees are nothing short of fabulous in the fall. The riot of colors makes your heart sing. Winter's aren't nearly as harsh in here as they are in NoDak. When I came here people warned me about the hard winter weather. I laughed. In NoDak, the mercury goes sub-zero for weeks. In fact for about six weeks, the temps never rise above zero, even in the day. It's not uncommon to for it to hit -30ºF. That's without the windchill. In NoDak, there's always a windchill. We're talking bone-chilling cold here. See that picture? That's Fargo last winter, when 800 drivers had to be rescued after they were caught in a blizzard. Mass doesn't even come close to this kind of weather. In short, I have every reason to prefer Mass over NoDak. Still, I miss North Dakota.

Money is one reason. It costs SO much more to live here than it did to live there. In NoDak, I lived in a 1,000 sq. ft. house. My mortgage was $450 per month. The house was all-electric. My electric bill was $150 per month. My water, sewer and garbage bill was $33 per month. Here, I live in a 1,500 sq. ft. house (only half again bigger) and my mortgage is three times what it was in NoDak. My electric bill is around $100 per month, my sewer bill is about $50, my water bill is about $50. And then there's the oil - $99 per month for that. To register my car in NoDak cost me about $75, and a driver's license was another $25. It cost me $100 for a driver's license here, and $150 to register my car. Then there's the annual excise tax I have to pay here for the privilege of driving my car on the crappy Massachusetts roads! In short, my cost of living essentially tripled when I came out here, more than consuming the modest increase in my salary.

The other reason I miss North Dakota is the freedom. When I bought my house there, it was in sorry shape. So I gutted the entire thing, right down to the studs, and completely rebuilt and remodeled it. I built a new front porch and added a mud room to the back. I stripped off all of the siding and put on all new siding. I built a new storage shed. And I did all of that without getting a permit. And no one said "Boo" to me about it. Here, I have to have a permit to change a light fixture. I have to have a permit to add a deck or re-side my house. I need a permit to build a storage shed. Michelle and I were going to replace our aging wall oven. Need a permit! It's driving me crazy. So is the traffic. So many cars, so many people all trying to go so fast, all angry that all of the other cars are in their way. Yuppies in urban assault vehicles getting apoplectic because the sea of traffic refuses to part for them. Women in minivans forcing their way in front of you, then waving to thank you for letting them in. I'm stuck in that for over an hour every day. Back in NoDak, my commute took five minutes, tops. I could drive home for lunch. Used to quite often. And there was rarely ever a car in front of me.

Yes, fewer people, fewer cars, fewer regulations, and much more space. That's what I miss about NoDak. And this place? I'll give it three years max. Then my daughter will graduate from high school, and I'll be looking for the door. Oh, and did I mention they still have cowboys there? Ya gotta love a place with real cowboys.