Ring, ring, telephone ring...

I was at home alone with my grandson the other day and the phone rang. I ignored it.

"Grandpa Ben, the phone's ringing."
"I know," I said.
"Aren't you gonna answer it?" he asked.
"No."
"But the pone's ringing," he repeated.
"I know, but I'm not going to answer it."
"Why not?" he asked.
"Cuz I'm busy," I told him.
"But dontcha have to answer it?"
"No," I said, "you don't HAVE to answer it. If it's important, they'll
leave a message."

This answer seemed to satisfy him, and as the phone was no longer ringing, he wandered off to play. But this exchange got me to thinking about telephones and cell phones and so-called smart phones and our obsession with being connected. Like my grandson, most people today think that the phone must be answered. They believe it so much that they are never without their phones, as seemingly always on their phones. My grandson's obsession with answering the phone I can excuse - he's only five. The rest of the world's obsession with being connected I cannot excuse. Don't get me wrong. Cell phones are great inventions. If I'm out and about or travelling, I can get in touch with my wife and she with me, and that's a great thing. But these people whose phones are permanently glued to the ear - them I have a problem with.

Remember when telephones were big, black Bakelite contraptions that sat on a table or hung on a wall? If you wanted a telephone, you called the phone company, and a man would come out in two or three weeks and install a phone into your house or apartment. And they didn't come in a lot of different shapes or colors either. Pretty much you had your basic black. Later came tan, white, light blue or red, and the princess phone and the TrimLine phone. That was about it. Then they developed those nifty little plugs that all phone cords have today, so you could plug your own phone in all by yourself. You could also carry your phone from one room to another. No longer did you need a serviceman to come wire in your phone. This also brought about the PhoneStore, where you could go and pick out the phone you wanted in a variety of colors. They still only had a few styles though. As for phones on the go, well, there were pay phones wherever you went. If that wasn't enough for you, you could have a radiophone in your car. Only millionaires, movie stars and politicians had those though. If you were a doctor or a lawyer, you might have a pager or an answering service. That was staying connected in the good old days - you know - 25 years ago.

Then came cell phones, and the world has never been the same. Now we can stay connected anywhere, anytime. We can talk on the phone, we can text, we can tweet, we can read and write e-mail, we can surf the web, we can watch movies and TV shows, we can find our the bloody weather in Ulan Bator for crying out loud. And I will admit that it is very handy to have a cell phone. I love the fact that I'm not tied down to the house phone any longer. Cell phones cut the cord and freed the world, or so we believe. I'm not so sure about it myself. If you ask me, these wonderful new devices that are supposed to be our servants have become our masters. Instead of freeing us, they've enslaved us. How many of you know people who absolutely cannot let a call go unanswered? How many times have you seen couples sitting in a restaurant and one or both of them will be one the cell phone throughout most of dinner? How often have you seen a group of young people hanging out together and they're not talking to each other - they're texting someone else? When did being connected to someone you aren't with take precedence over paying attention to the person you are with? And how many times have you received a text from someone and wondered why they didn't just pick up the phone and call you? My kids tell me it's because they're someplace where they can't use their phones. To which I usually respond that they probably shouldn't be texting there either then.

I came up with a notion a couple of years ago, and it was this: 90% of the people who have Blackberries do not need Blackberries. The same can probably be said of all smart phones as well as i-Pads. But people have been convinced by advertisers, by tech magazines, by word of mouth that they NEED to have these devices. They've been shown, via the media, that they need to be able to check their e-mail day and night, that they need to be able to watch movies on a 2-1/2" screen, that they need to be constantly texting their friends, that they need to be connected every minute of every hour of every passing day. This is what is known as a "felt need," when someone else tells you that you need something and you buy into it. And for all of you who aren't doctors, lawyers, politicians, CEOs and such - all of you who do not really and truly NEED an expensive handheld computer that requires an equally expensive service contract - well, that makes all of you sort like sheep being led about hither and yon by someone saying, "Here's some really nice green grass over here that's better than the grass you're eating right now and you NEED this grass today."

Again, don't get me wrong. I love my cell phone. For years, I didn't even have a land line in my house, just my cell phone. But here's the kicker - and a lot of you will NOT believe me when you read this - I use my phone as a ...wait for it...wait for it...a PHONE. I don't use it as a TV, I don't check my e-mail with it, I don't surf the net with it, I don't listen to music with it, I don't use it as a compass, I don't text on it or tweet on it - I talk on my phone to people I wanna talk to when - and only when - I wanna talk to them. See, my phone serves me, not the other way around. And if you ever call me, I'll answer and talk to you...if I'm not busy at that moment. Then you'll have to leave a message.